Dear Friend,
Our identity plays a crucial role in determining who we are. William James in 1890 came up with the first definition of Self-esteem or self-worth. Our self-worth depends on our success in life relative to our aspirations. Our life aspiration spreads across wide aspects such as the quality of life, peacefulness, position, respect, money, etc. Each individual has his own way of determining his aspiration. Success for one individual may not be a success for another. Hence, Self-worth is a unique value for each individual, which is determined by how one sets his success criteria relative to his aspiration or goals.
A person who has low personal aspirations or goals rates even the small success highly and ends up having high self-worth. But people with high aspirations consider some of the best successes as failures and keep chasing for higher. This category of people has a higher probability of ending up with low self-worth when they fail to reach the bar they have set themselves. To summarize, the level of self-worth is determined by each of us based on how we value our success relative to our aspirations and goals in life.
Influencing factors
Our Self-worth gets influenced by external factors such as social interaction. A person might be very happy and content in life. But when he sees his peers growing up faster in professional life, he may reset his aspiration to a higher level and recalculate the success in his life. The immediate increase in aspiration might ignore all the previous success he has valued in the past. This would push his self-worth low, although nothing has changed in his life. This is purely controlled by our own emotions.
A similar situation might arise because of internal factors such as a sudden loss of a job, sickness, debt, loss of loved ones and other scenarios. Here, because of changes in personal life, our ability to attain our goals (Ex: comfort, peaceful life, security, etc) decreases, which results in low self-worth.
Impact of Social Tools
In today’s world, social tools play an important role in determining self-worth. People share only their happy times in social tools. They go silent when the problems hit their life. Someone who is going through a tough situation might look at the social tools and think everyone in this world is happy except himself. I wish there is an option in social tools to track the sudden silence of people so that friends can reach out to them and support if required. If we look at social tools and keep comparing other’s life with ours, It might push our self-worth down. You will notice our self-worth not only controlled based on what we think about us but also based on what others think about us. That's why people share pleasant memories about themselves in social tools to gain self-esteem.
How to protect us from low Self-worth?
Low self-worth leads to negative thoughts. People with low self-worth start questioning their own existence. We go through not only successful moments but also difficult and disappointing moments in life. Our disappointment hits us when we expect them at least. There are always factors in our life that catch us off guard from the blind spots. If we put our self-worth on the success and aspiration of our life, then our life is subject to fluctuations mainly controlled by emotions.
How can we protect our self-worth while we sail through difficulties in life? How not to get into a negative thought about our life? In ancient days, when the sailor sails through the sea, they used to look for North stars to identify their position. North star always appears on a northern pole at all times. Once it is identified rest of the directions can be easily identified. A sailor depends on the North star because it does not change its position. He knows the direction can never go wrong as long as he finds the north star.
Dear friend, we also need a north star in our life to hold on, which does not change as life goes through ups and downs. Bible says, I the Lord do not change. God’s love for us does not change. His relationship with us does not change. His compassion for us does not change. God’s promises never change. Since God does not change, your self-worth does not change despite the change in your success or aspiration, if you put your trust in Him.
Dear friend, I urge you to look above at God. Reconcile with him. Establish a relationship with him. Put your trust in Him. Listen to his voice and set your life goal in alignment with God. It will make sure you have a strong anchor in your life. Your life will not waive due to emotions. You will not worry what others think about you as your self-esteem is all about what God thinks about you. God wants you to do well in life. He loves you independent of who you are and where you are. Would you do a simple prayer along with us?
Prayer
Dear heavenly Father, I believe I should put my trust in you. My emotions should not control my destiny. I go through happy thoughts one day and negative thoughts the next day. Dear God, my life should not fluctuate based on things happening around me and what others think about me. I surrender my life to you. I will look at you and derive my success by living a life in a way you are guiding me through. I know you never change. You are the same God yesterday, today and forever. Lord, I love you. In Jesus's name, let this be done.
Jesus wants to make you His own child. Ask for forgiveness for your past life. Jesus will forgive you. He will renew your life and lead you like a father lead His own child. Please humble you heart and pray to Jesus.
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We are praying for you. Jesus will surely bring peace and joy in your life. He will release you from all your problems. May God bless you and make you a blessing for many.
