The doctor walked into my hospital room to share the diagnosis report. As I was walking back home from the office suddenly one side of my body went numb. I also could not speak. But my body and brain recovered over the next twenty minutes. Initially, the doctors doubted I went through a possible mild stroke. They asked me to take an MRI, blood tests, and CT scan. I was told that I have one of the seven diseases, which includes cancer, AIDS, Brain infection, etc. Most of them are treatable but not curable.
Later diagnosis along with other symptoms pointed to initial stages of lymphoid cancer. But there was no way to confirm it. The only way to get clarity was to go through tissue sampling surgery. As part of this procedure, few holes will be drilled through my skull to collect the brain samples. The surgery has its own risks and side effects. The doctor explained to me if they could not conclude on firm diagnostics, then the next step was to open my skull to check the possible issues in the brain. If the diagnosis points to cancer, I would have to start chemotherapy and radiotherapy immediately. It was an anxious moment.
Three days before all these happened. We had a family prayer time at our home. We picked an old song with the following words.
He (Jesus) will never let me go.
Though the storm may come and sea may roar,
He will never let me go.
I knew the outcome of the Brain tissue sample surgery will have a major impact on my life. I was taken to the operation theatre. The doctors connected all the tubes. My God reminded me of the song we sang as a family three days back. “He will never let me go. The Storm may come, and sea may roar. But my God will never let me go.” What a wonderful song. I was holding on to this song.
The anesthesia made me unconscious without my knowledge. I did not know what happened. When I got my conscious back, I was in ICU. I heard a loud voice, “This the presence of God. Declare his name”. I was still recovering back from my anesthesia. My words came forcefully without my control. This is the presence of God and he is here. I repeated it several times. God showed me how beautifully he was with me all along. I closed my eyes and went unconscious. When I can not see and when I can not move, God showed me he was in control all through. He never let me go. The sea was roaring all around me and there was a storm in my life. But my God never let me go.
My dear friend, are you anxious about your life. Are you worried about your job, debt, health, or any other problems? God can take care of you as he did in my life. He is much bigger than your problems, debt, and health issues. He is the God who created you. Surrender your life to him. We are going to pray to Jesus now. Place your hand on your heart and believe in Jesus. He is going to calm your heart and fill your heart with peace.
Dear Jesus, I need healing. Take away all my anxiety. Please fill my heart with your heavenly peace. I have questions about my life and my future. I know you have the answers to all my questions. Jesus, please change my life. Fill my life with joy and peace. Come into my heart. I pray in Jesus's name, Amen.