Are you going through a storm in your relationship? Independent of whether you are married or in a path to get married, it is important to resolve the issues early. Bulk of the problems in the relationship arises due to the underlying misunderstanding in the meaning of the word “Love”. We mix up the meaning of attraction, lust, and love many times. Somehow we started thinking the meaning of all the three words is the same. Lets try to distinguish the difference between the three words.
The mutual attractions between male and female are very important. Without mutual attraction between two people, the relationship will not lead to marriage. The media and movies put much emphasis on the attraction between male and female. But the attractions play only a small part in building the relationship.
Lust creates an immense need for immediate satisfaction. Lust makes us jump over the fence, suppress the warning signals of the moral brain to attain something which is not ours. The modern day movies mix the love and lust so closely and indirectly proved the lust and the love are one and the same.
What makes a solid foundation for marriage is love. But there is no love without sacrifice. The amount of sacrifice defines the depth of love. Each one in the family sacrifices their self for the benefit of others in order to love each other. Sacrificing something for themselves is not love. Letting go of a hobby to spend time with wife and children is a sacrifice. God showed us what is greatest love is. He sacrificed his own son Jesus on the cross to show the true meaning of love.
Please sit down and think through what is driving your relationship. Is it love, mutual attraction or the lust?
Lets look at some of the root causes relationship issues:
Who owns what:
In marriage, both wife and husband own everything with equal rights. There should be clear financial transparency between them. When there is no financial transparency, it leads doubts on each other’s lifestyle.
Avoid doubts in marriage at any cost. Please make sure your spouse does not doubt you at any point in time. Even if it’s your close friend, if your spouse doubts the relationship between you and your friend, try to avoid the relationship. Marriage is more important than friendship. Your spouse happiness decides your family happiness.
Runaway from Secret addiction:
Let your life be as transparent as possible with your spouse. Many write to us about their secret addictions in betting, pornography, extramarital relationships, and other secret additions. The secret addictions will destroy the marriage. Addictions will always come to light one day or the other. All secret addictions are unexploded pre-set time bombs. Once it explodes a person will be only left with shame and guilt. Please run away from all the addictions. If you need counseling or medical help please approach your local experts.
Some bring their positions and authority from office to home. They expect to be respected by their wife and children. Husband and wife need to leave their ego at the office.
Remember who brought you together?
It is always God who brings husband and wife together. There is an old say, Marriages are made in heaven. God did establish marriage between husband and wife. God himself conducted the first marriage between Adam and Eve in the Gardent of Eden. He found it was not good for man to live alone. Hence he found a companion. The instution of marriage was established by God. Is it right for individuals to walk away from what God has established without his consensus? Bible says, Let no man separate what God has united.
Remember Your Vow:
Marriage vow could be different in different culture and religions. But the underlying meaning is the same. Here is the sample.
I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Dear Friend, Are you ready to commit your life for your spouse in ups and down till death separates them? Independent of whether you are married or about to get married, its important to make right choices and decisions.
The marriage vow is very similar to the vow God made to man. God says, "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.". God's love never changes over time. It does not changes based on situation. God expects the same in our marriage.
Are you struggling in your relationship? Is your relationship breaking down? Are you in the midst of a storm? God is listneing to your prayers right now. He knows your tears and sorrows. Hold on to Him. He can mend your relationship. Please listen to his voice. God will surely answer your prayers. He will give you peace and comfort for your broken heart. He can fix your problems in relationship.
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